Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
