In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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