i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
