He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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