i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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