on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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