addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
