I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
