That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
