I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
