even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
