Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize