There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think your dad took our porno
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
