a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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