quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize