this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
