the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
