you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
