I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
