Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I am one with the molecules
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
