i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize