and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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