he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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