I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
