I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
