So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
