Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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