covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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