if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
