could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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