sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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