dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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