I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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