Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
