There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
