i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
