I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize