plz talk dirty to me
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
