I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
