he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
