I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
