I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
