soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
