I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
