I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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