Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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