I CAN MOONWALK!
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
