i just google imaged poop.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
