Please, let me fuck your mom
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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