Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
