Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
