I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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