Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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