how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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