look no pants
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It's never too late to be topless.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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