Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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