I smell stomach acid.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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