Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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